Just a few months after finishing school, I landed my first job in Reno, Nevada, as a television news reporter. It was the beginning of what I anticipated would be a storied career in journalism. However, as proud as I was to have locked in what became my dream job, I knew there was a lot more work to do. Because I not only wanted to be a journalist, I wanted to be the best journalist. So, I spent every waking hour learning, studying, and practicing. At work, I attentively listened to everything my bosses told me to do, soaking in every bit of advice they gave. After work, I stayed late to dig through documents in hopes of finding hidden stories that were overlooked. On the weekends, I picked up books written by former journalists to glean insight into how they had succeeded. And if I really wanted to feel inspired, I would watch and rewatch my favorite TV anchors on air because I was convinced that if I worked hard enough, I would be just like them one day. I lived and breathed journalism.
However, it didn't take long for me to see that a paradox was beginning to form. Despite working hard, I was still not getting the bigger and better opportunities at work. I was getting stuck doing the most basic projects, and I couldn't figure out why. For example, when an exciting story came into our newsroom and I expressed my interest, I would immediately see it be handed off to someone else. Initially, I chalked it up to being new, but as newer employees joined after me, I noticed I was still being offered the less desirable projects. That feeling of being slighted, left out, and even invisible started to creep in. I thought, if I'm doing everything I am supposed to do, including putting in the hours and listening to all the instructions given to me, why am I being overlooked? The balance between what I was expecting and what was happening was off, and I needed to figure out why.
This conundrum came to a head in 2010, a few months after I started my first job. One day, our newsroom got notice that in two weeks, the US Air Force Air Demonstration Squadron, the "Thunderbirds," would be coming into town. They were hosting an air show, and as part of their PR campaign, they would allow one reporter to fly with them.
Excited about the prospect of flying in a high-speed aircraft reserved only for those in the military, I raised my hand and mentioned to my boss that I would love to do the story.
"OK, noted," he said. I walked away from the meeting with a smile on my face, and I mentally patted myself on the back for finding the courage to express what I wanted.
For two whole weeks, I fantasized about how I would put the story together and what an extraordinary opportunity this would be.
On the day of the air show, reporters and producers filed into the conference room to start our daily editorial meeting. I sat in my seat and waited for my boss to announce the plan for the air show. "As for who will be covering the story, Bella will be riding with them." Immediately, my head swiveled to my boss. My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. I was sure my face showed it. Without even looking at me, my boss continued on with the day's agenda as if I
were completely invisible. The feeling of "my" story being handed off to someone else was gut-wrenching.
At the end of the meeting, despite feeling incredibly uncomfortable, I mustered up the courage to ask my boss why someone else had been assigned the story.
"Just curious," I said in my least disappointed-sounding voice. "Why is Bella covering the story? I was really hoping to do it."
My boss looked up at me, seemingly confused.
"Oh, that's right," he responded. "I forgot you had mentioned it! Bella was interested in it, and she was just talking about it all week, so she was top of mind. Sorry—next time!"
I knew there would be no next time, but nothing could be done now.
As I walked back to my desk, I kept ruminating over his words: "top of mind"; "talking about it all week."
In the two weeks leading up to the air show, I had thought about following up and reminding him of my interest. But because I hadn't wanted to intrude or bother him, I'd decided against it. Moreover, I didn't know how to approach being top of mind without seeming pushy. Therein was the friction: because I didn't know what to do or how to do it, I simply did nothing.
As I walked back to my desk that fateful day, ruminating over my manager's words, I knew something had to change. So I put on my journalist hat and started investigating. I asked myself a multitude of questions, like: Why did I think asking for something once was enough? Why did I assume he would remember? Why did I default to thinking I'd inconvenience him if I followed up? The more I looked into it, the more I realized my attempts at being noticed, remembered, and recognized were futile. Not only that, I was getting in my own head, creating a narrative of what I thought would happen, including being negatively perceived as pushy or annoying, or even getting downright rejected. The question of "What's there to lose?" was, for me, imagining the pitfalls, consequences, and risk. But it wasn't just that; I felt myself, more often than not, suppressing what I wanted to say in meetings. My mind would race with negative thoughts, causing me to doubt myself and my expertise.
At first, I attributed these feelings to my personality. Maybe it was because I was more introverted, shy, and timid; therefore, it was harder for me to communicate. However, the more I looked into it, the more I began to see it was more than personality alone. For instance, I didn't consider myself soft-spoken or anxious when I was around my family and friends, but when I was in a professional environment, it was like I suddenly was. Deep down, I knew there were bigger forces at play that caused me to stay quiet, downplay my thoughts, question my capabilities, and acquiesce. Over time, I discovered it was because I was showing up in the workplace exhibiting the Quiet Culture traits I had been raised with, but the workplace was expecting something else.
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***** TABLE OF CONTENTS *****
Preface
Introduction
PART 1: CULTURE SHOCK
1. FRICTION AT WORK
2. THE FOUR CULTURAL REFRAMES
3. OVERCOMING THE QUIET CULTURE BIAS
PART 2: QUIET CAPITAL FRAMEWORK
4. SHAPING OUR CAREER BRAND
5. BUILDING CREDIBILITY
6. ADVOCATING FOR OURSELVES
PART 3: THE COMMUNICATION ADVANTAGE
7. MAXIMIZING OUR WORDS
8. EXPANDING OUR TONE OF VOICE
9. UTILIZING OUR BODY LANGUAGE
FINAL THOUGHTS
